Красная Звезда Темного Хайникена

Run, run, run run run run, Let's touch some sun sun sun sun sun. Let's have some fun fun fun fun fun fun. Found in a notepad, a real one, like paper real notepad, a note in things-to-do: Check to Geroge. Now, that's interesrting: who is George? what is George? And how does one check into it.

Aaaaaah, George. Da Landlord. And I need to send him a check. OK, fine, be like that.

The book library of Shmümer, of which I currently have albeit a temporary but full possession, is quite a unique kuntskamera that certainly warrants a more poetic type of post, which hopefully I’ll do one day in another journal employing different language. Here and now, I am just going to say that I found two books on the History of Mexico. One is "Hernando Cortez" by John S. C. Abbott, a historian who died in 1877, and this well preserved edition is probably somewhere from 1910s. The other is "Villa and Zapata" by Frank McLynn. The former find is obscure as there are no other books on the subject in the collection and hardly can it be of any interest to a non-specialist. As such, I am going to expropriate it, with impunity, as, trust me, such an orderless disorder rules over this vast realm of books, there is no way the owner will ever notice I’ve stolen something.
And I can certainly put it to a good use as my Southern Highland Tour will concentrate exactly on Cortez, Montezuma and the epic encounter between those two and the civilizations they represented and symbolized.



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/2. Puebla. 2./

- Папа, а кто это?
- Это Алиса...
- Да, это Алиса. И папа. И Гуля. А это кто?
- Это Мама...
- Да это мама. И папа. И Свин. А это кто?
- Это... это Сергей Бабкин. Группа Пятница.
- Да, Сегей Бакин. И папа. И мама.
Ну да, ну да - широко жил партизан Боснюк.


First thing first - Alisa, this is Puebla. Puebla, this is Alisa.




Done? Happy? May I continue now? Thank you.

Spaniards were saying they built 365 Churches in Puebla de los Angeles. Local Mesoamerica enthusiasts say, in wikipedia, there were 365 altars in the ancient Cholula city Cortez destroyed.

Both lie.

But this is not to say that Cholula's ruins do not deserve a visit. And this is not to say there is not enough Churches in Puebla - if fact, it seems there is one on every corner.


Yes, a view from our hotel room, so what?

All the way through Colonial times, Puebla remained 2nd largest, grandest, most important city of Nueva España, second only to the Capital. The first ever Cathedral, the first ever theater, the first ever library, the first ever everything in all of the Americas was - or rather still is -- here, in this ex-village.

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/1. Morelia/

The principal persons use their coaches, which today number above six and sixty, to shed lustre and magnificence on this city

So, we were sick for a week and a weekend - and hence the grand plans for the latter went down the drain.

The plans were to visit Morelia, the bonita capital of Michoacan State.
Beautiful UNESCO World Heritage Centro Historico, built of oh so nicely ageing rose-colored trychyde, boasting the most beautiful Cathedral in the country known in the Americas for its Cathedrals - yup, that's what we missed.


>> Catedral de Transfiguracion de Jesus, M.M. (c) Yulia H

The story of the city is simple. Born Valladolid in 1537, it was meant by his non-Saint patron, viceroy Antonio de Mendoza, to be the most Spanish of all Mexicans cities.
As opposed to colonial ones. As opposed to Indian ones.
Mendoza's wishes came through. Spanish Valladolid was born - and still oh so Spanish it is. Even though it was renamed Morelia in late 18th century.
To honor the beloved son of the nation, personal hero of mine, insurgent mestizo priest turned general Jose Maria Morelos y Pavon, the dude with sword wearing his bandada ала косынка, current 50 pesos bill, on plastic.


That's the old school bill/ i likes this one betters.

In 1810 when Padre Hidalgo's indian-and-mestizo army occupied the city, Hidalgo's old amigo and patron, creole bishop Abad excommunicated the priest. Father of the nation responded by abolishing any form of slavery in Mexico - the first ever such decree in all Americas south from Canadian border.

In 1910 Porfirio Diaz, a liberal general under dear Juarez, freely elected president running on the platform of "no re-election to any political office" turned industrial dictator for some 35 years, held pompous celebrations of the Independence's centennial in Morelia -- despite the fact that there was a shortage of grain, wood, coal, milk, water, meat, everything in the city.

By mid 1911, Porfirio Diaz was no more if by "no more" we imply enjoyful retirement exile in Paris (that's France for you).

In late 2006, a group of Turistas Russicos hit the town and Monsenor de neLadnik hoisted the flag.


eдут, едут по Берлину наши козаки

In 2008, this is what an renowned international traveller and writer Comandante Angry Amish Zhe wrote of the city:

"...мы приехали в Морелию в час ночи - и пошли пить. Открытым во всем городе оказался лишь один -- самый пафосный, модерновый, пальцастый, но приятный бар. В который нас запустили через закрывающуюся железную дверь из Алисы для своих. Вслед за нами зашла групка богатых мексиканцев -- и дверь захлопнулась.

Кроме нас и богатых_мексиканцев в баре оказалась лишь одна пара с мужиком в золоте.

Еще на мужике был черный костюм и атласная рубашка. Заслышав наши голоса, мужик приподнялся, заулыбался и произнес, усиленно растягивая и проговаривая слога, слова и словосочетания: Вы-го-во-ри-те-по-русс-ки? -- сказл мужик -- Это-здо-ро-во! Я-то-же-го-во-рю-по-русс-ки.

И упал обратно.

Мужик был белый и совсем не мексиканец. И женщина его была белая. И совсем не мексиканка. Высокая, блондинистая -- и белая. Bся в белом. Она залезала к мужику на колени, с нее активно лезли вниз белые брюки, вынося [белый] трусняк -- и мужика она разве что не трахала через [черный] костюм.

Еще она бегала в туалет нюхать кокаин. Только не спрашивайте меня откуда я знаю зачем она бегала в женский туалет и почему.

Мы решили, что парочка была ново-сербами. Потому, например, что из динамиков крутился Брегович и это был первый и единственный раз, когда из динамиков в Мексике играл Брегович -- а я много чего наслушался за эти годы в республике.

Ну еще потому, что мужик смешно говорил по-русски. Ну и женщина его.
~

Так или иначе, но место было приятное ...Тут к нам пошли брататься богатые мексиканцы, слегка повеселили, слегка - напрягли.

...Богатые Мексиканцы состояли из двух породистых девушек - двоюродных сестер, мужику при каждой, и еще трех, кажется, бесплатных кабальерос. Девушки трепались со мной и Гогой по-англицки, а неЛадник следил, что бы кабальеры не особо приставали к нашим дамам.
Среди мужиков выделялся пьяный именинник, которого все посылали нах и некто Виктор. Так как в Мексиканском языке нет буквы "В", а есть вместо нее "Б", то, на самом деле, он был Биктор.

-- Goga!
-- Bictor!
-- Excuse me - Victor?
-- Yes, Bictor!

Биктор утверждал, что был бедный, а теперь есть наркобарон. И рассказывал Майке и Юле про тяжелые будни и трудности профессии. Забавно, но, кажется, никто, кроме меня, не усомнился в правдивости его слов. Ну наркобарон и наркобарон -- с кем не бывает. В Мексике."


Turisto Russico, (c)m_r

In 2010 all you hear about this beautiful place - yes I mean Morelia and not the bar - is that it is a center of operations for newly established superpower drug cartel La Famiglia; our brief encounter with Senor Bictor appears in quite a different light. Perhaps that was a good thing I did not take my family to Morelia this past weekend.
Or perhaps, we just got sick.
***

Zhe: Any complains?
Client: No. Yes. Just one. Stop saying you'll tell us all about this and that later. Even if you will.

We got sick coming back from a trip to Puebla. At least we made it there, as well as to Tlaxcala. A previous weekend, that is, we made it.
Even if we did not necessarily plan it that way.
Oh well.

Puebla is not the most Spanish of all Nueva Espana's cities - Volladolid-Morelia is -- but it is indeed the very first Spaniards founded. Next to the site of the ancient city of Cholula and its widest pyramid ever built in Americas, which Spaniards had just duly destroyed.
As a lesson to stupid Cholulans who dared to plan to attack Spaniards persuaded by their Aztec masters.
Alongside destroying the city, Cortez massacred thousands of unarmed people, in cold blood.
His own troops were in shocks, while killing women and children.
They were.



And yet, I keep telling left and right, to everyone who cares to listen, that Cortez, for whoevere and whatever he was, was not a blood thirsty man. A complex figure, whenever he could, he was building hospitals for those he hurt and issuing decrees protecting those who survived his visits.

But if that all is true, two somewhat unrelated questions the esteemed reader should have at this point, right now.
First, why did Cortez massacre so many innocent people at Cholula?
Second, where the hell are pictures of Alisa?

Hold on, dear friends, hold on. It's all coming -- very soon, in the very next installment of Image-inary Mexico by Alter me.
Tomorrow. Promise I do - tomorrow, same time. Same place.
Puebla it will be.

Hall of Famer Steve Yzerman is the Tampa Bay Lightning's new general manager, taking on the task of rebuilding a franchise that's fallen on hard times since winning its only Stanley Cup championship six years ago.

When Bolts hire Barry Melrose as a coach few years back with the same goal in mind, I thought it was crazy -- Melrose was over 10 years since he coached Kings and based on his ESPN "analysis" was so outdated, the game passed him so while ago, it was not even funny. He got fired few months in and for the first time I felt for this dude so miserable as a coach he was.

This time I can't tell. Yezerman is a great athlete, great lad, a true hardworking superstar who achieved so much on the ice and was working hard his way up in the Wings back office. He lacks experience, though, and few more years learning the trade with Detroit would serve him well. I wish him all the luck and success but don’t think he'll be able to turn them around quickly - hope Bolts'll give him time as they promise.

After so many consecutive trips to Mexico, where I got used to knowing things, places and ways around, the strangest notion about our vacation in Turkey was that weird feeling of being a complete tourist. We were traveling a 100% Gringo trail, we knew nothing at all, we had to figure out everything for the first time.
We did not speak the language.
It all felt very strange indeed.

And so indeed we traveled the common Gringo trail: Selcuk/Efes -> Pamukkale -> Lake Region -> Cappadocia -> Istanbul in a whooping 7 days. As this is indeed a standard itinerary for a first trip to this wonderful country, here are some almost pure practical suggestions one may find useful if s/he is to follow our – or similar - route on his/her first visit there.

[lots of credits go to Marvel and Pikkumyy for suggesting most of the itinerary in the first place]

General

- Turkey’s tourism is booming and things – including prices! – are changing rapidly. Get the latest travel guide you can! We had Rough Guide 2007 and it was outdated!

- LP vs. Rough Guide. If you don’t want to carry both, get LP. Rough's got more pages but most of it is useless if you are not going to spend over a month in Turkey. Like, Rough, with a dose of sarcasms, provides details re unattractive attractions of a town of Aydin whereas LP safely ignores this place altogether (safely, as no one goes there anyway - sorry, Aydin!). Same time, LP provides more practical details for the places it does list.

- Long distance bus transportation, as was promised, is excellent – especially during the season. Buses are new and comfortable. The level of “sophistication” varies from overhead TV sets to the wireless internet but all are very comfortable and have services like drinks/nescafe/tea.
11 hours overnight ride from Goreme (Cappadocia) to Istanbul was totally fine.
They do tend to be late, though.



- There are several good budget airlines covering various places of the itinerary. The sites are provided below – do check the guidebook for the latest details as some go out of business while other come up; schedules too change during the year. We flew Atlas Jet form Istanbul to Izmir and the plane was new (they claim the entire fleet being new) and service was very good.

- Atlas Jet has excellent shuttle bus service from destination airports to the nearby cities – listed on the “map” in their in-flight magazine. Those are very convenient – it got us form Izmir airport to Selcuk saving us a hassle getting to Izmir’s Bus station somehow and catching a bus to Selcuk.
Now, we think this service is free. We don’t know for sure – we just boarded the bus and it got us there – no one asked anything, not even a boarding pass!

- Bus vs. Budget Airline. The price difference varies but for Goreme -> Istanbul, plane ticket was $50 and bus was at $27. Neither is a killer. But consider this: morning flight takes under 2 hrs and overnight bus makes it in 11 hrs – but bus arrives earlier and at by far a better location in Istanbul. So it breaks down like this: if you want to spend an extra night in the city of departure, go with the plane. If you want to start your day early in the city of destination, go with the bus.

- We went to Turkey at the beginning of May and it was hot. Not diabolically hot but quite hot anyway. All but one hotel in Selcuk – listed as #1 in LP and also recommended by Rough – had rooms available. Same time, many were quite full.
If you can choose, go mid April.

- There is something about me and the buses. Once again, I almost forgot our laptop on the shuttle from Izmir airport to Selcuk and had to run after it. Don’t do this: it is less fun than I make it sound.


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Вот пришло. Даже не знаю, толи теперь себе на фотках футболку такую заказать и ходить-гордиться, толи написать этим красавцам, что уж ежали деревянный яховский фильтр их отсеял, то в космоссе им делать вовсе нечего.

товарищеский матч Россия-Бразилия
недалеко от ворот сборной России назначен штрафной
после того как Акинфеев поставил в стенку Булыкина он поворачивается лицом к воротам
Аленичев ему говорит:
Димон ты чего?
Булыкин:
незнаю как вы мужики, а я гол хочу посмотреть

я, конечно, ненавижу и презираю травелодж ётубные посты (и выгоняю за них нафик) -- однако ж, отвечая на Ужелеткин вопрос-ик-ец про то, че ж я-таки (или ты-таки или вы-таки бы-таки) слушали в глупые дни далекого всё еще советского детстдва с моно-магнитофоном электроника нового образца на касетах Сони, Басф, Агфа и отечественных по 60 минут жеванной пленки - а потом Гру удивляется что у меня со слухом кранты - пошел поискать Midnight Oil, а нашел вот это.

Да так и полюбил попсу.

странная женщина - супер, я считаю. и в целом - супер супер. enjoy.